We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
