bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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