everyone is single if you try hard enough
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
