its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
