you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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