I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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