is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize