I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
