Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize