Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
