she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
