I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
