you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
