you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
