Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize