we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
