I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
