Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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