She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
40s are totally the cure
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I have post one night stand depression
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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