If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
