i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
