I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
