How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize