gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
no, he came in my armpit
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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