He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
