You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
