oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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