this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
