Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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