If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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