xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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