Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
