Please, let me fuck your mom
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
