My underwear smells like fireworks.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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