1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize