Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
