So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
