it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
