He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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