Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
