I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
