so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
