Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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