Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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