Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
