What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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