Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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