He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
