There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
