Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
