Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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