There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
