She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize