If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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