So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
