i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
