Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
