so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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