Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
