Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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