I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
