There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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