hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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