Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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