Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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