hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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