Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
