I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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