Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i just had sex bonerless
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
