It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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