Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
