Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
