ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
