I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
