I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
